(To anyone who got my Aerosmith reference. . .kudos to you! 🙂 )
Have you ever reached a point in your life where you know something’s about to change. . .you can just feel the anticipation of something big lurking around the corner. . . and you don’t know whether to hug someone or run away?
That’s me, right now.
I have found this journey towards publishing to be a lesson in patience and had hoped to make my writing skills lucrative by now, in one way or another. While I’ve discovered plenty of avenues with potential I’m still writing just for pleasure. . .and my readers are still reading for free.
I had also hoped that by the time my recall date for work came up I would be going back. However, as of August 30th our WIC agency will be closing four of its six clinics and the other two are reduced to one day a week. Not only am I still laid off, but the money has dried up to the point there may not be a place for me to return. (Which, by the way, feel free to pray about or call your congressman. . .or both!)
I have been keeping my eyes peeled for something else. . .but a girl with an M.S. in nutrition and no R.D. behind her name isn’t qualified for much in small town Pennsylvania. I would make a kick-a** secretary. . .but I wouldn’t get paid more than what it would cost to put my kids in daycare. What’s the point?
I am teetering on the edge of a precipice and I have no idea whether I’m going to plunge to the bottom or fly to the other side. The first one isn’t an option but my wings haven’t sprouted to accomplish the second.
It’s a scary, unnerving, anxiety inducing place to be. I’ve gone through plenty of rough spots in life before, some infinitely harder than this, and by God’s grace have always landed safely on the other side. However, each time one steps up to the brink of another unknown it is so easy to forget about the way He came through before and resign yourself to failure.
Thankfully, I found a fellow blogger who posted some inspiring words and am reminded that even when I don’t have a clue as to the future I don’t have to be scared. Check her out. . .she’s got some simple but cool posts throughout her blog that I have always found to be uplifting. (http://proverbsway.com)
The first post:
“Having a rough day?
Place your hand over your heart.
That’s called purpose.
You’re alive for a reason.
Don’t give up.”
“Don’t worry. God is ALWAYS on time. Trust Him.”
Maybe they don’t speak to you the same way they do to me, but that’s okay. It is exactly what I needed to hear (or read) today. Just a gentle reminder that while the brink of an unknown can be an awkward place to stand it doesn’t have to be scary.
So, I’m going to do my best to wait with anticipation and not fear, for I can feel something coming. I have no idea what it is but I have been reminded that when everything looks bleak and all hope lost, God delivers.